Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Provision and Trust

Wow, is all I have to say tonight. The buyer of our car came and gave us the money tonight. He was supposed to have shown up yesterday and didn't make it for some reason. I'm not sure why. All I know is that this month's mortgage payment is sitting on the nightstand. Tomorrow on the way to work, Hubbs is dropping it off. The last few weeks at work have been kind of skimpy in the hours scheduled department. Hate retail post holiday season, especially hourly retail....anyway, I was talking to God quite a bit over the past week and a half about the fact that the mortgage payment was going to be way late this month as we had a very high natural gas bill to get paid, how I was counting down the night time diapers and as of tonight was going to use the last one, how we could use a few grocery items, the car needed some gas to get through this cold snap, how Hubbs really could use some new work clothes, the girls need new toothbrushes and we could use a few more things like body wash and toilet paper.

To start, Hubbs filed our taxes today. God is soooo good. Our taxes this year are paying his mom back for our furnace, they are totally clearing the credit card debt that ensued while I was pregnant with our Beans and dealing with a way to make the deductible where Hubbs used to work (let's just say it was a very high deductible), and the entire remainder of the loan on the car. We are also going to be able to replace the windshield on the car (it is cracked through thanks to a stray rock on the way back from my MIL's two trips ago), the muffler that is very holey and new tires (we have bald spots on the rear tires, yes, I know, not good) and possibly new shocks....there will be some left over from that, and it should pay off most if not possibly all of the Bugs. We are still paying her birth off due to bad insurance....ok, not bad, just not the greatest, a high deductible and then wouldn't cover things most other insurances typically do (and the fact that she was kept in the hospital two extra days due to the Hep. B vaccine and an over zealous pediatrician that was on call the weekend we had her). Then, we can resume paying on my student loans when those come out of forbearance in a few months and then if things work out the way we have planned, they will be nearly gone after tax season next year and hopefully we will have most of what we will need to pay cash for a used mini van saved up. Oh happy day.

Then, while I was laying down (I was sick most of the day, glad today was Hubb's day off, he gave me this lovely weird head cold thingy) there was a knock on the door. It was the guy who wanted to buy our car. He came to finalize the deal and apologize for not coming yesterday. I was laying down having a quite the discussion with God.

Me: Uh, God, you know the mortgage isn't paid this month (thankfully they don't get cranky about that until the tenth), we are going to need toilet paper this week, Hubbs doesn't have any body wash left, and we use our last diaper tonight on the Beans, and I don't think she is ready to go in panties overnight. Naps, we've gotten down, overnight, not yet.

God: Trust ME. It is going to be fine.

Me: I know it is going to be fine. You are in control. I know that we aren't going to be in this financial boat forever. I know You are going to get us out, I've known that for a long while. Which, if You could also just please tell me what we are to do in the line of Hubb's employment, you know, direction as to what to pursue, and How in the world am I going to get diapers tomorrow?

God: Be patient. Trust ME. I WILL PROVIDE.

During me pestering God about providing for us and me saying I really didn't see how it was going to work out this week, the buyer of the car knocked on the door. Man, I felt bad. I really was having trust issues. Still do to an extent. However, the timing of it all couldn't have been planned by a human.

I'm still blown away. God has this way of answering our prayers and providing for our needs at the best time for us. Even if we think it isn't the best time. Even when in our opinion He waits too long and we think causes us undue stress. Yet, His timing is perfect. It always has been, is now, and always will be.

Oh, and we did get diapers tonight.

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